Breaking The Myth Of Gender Based Violence (GBV)

Gender-based violence (GBV) happens every day, in our homes, our communities, and our workplaces. Yet most conversations about it are built on myths that keep the problem invisible: that abuse is always physical, that it only happens to women, and that what happens at home is somehow not a workplace issue.

It’s time to break those myths. Because for organisations that care about their people, GBV is not a “society problem” someone else will solve, it is a productivity, wellbeing, and culture problem sitting inside your own walls.

What Is Gender-Based Violence? 

Gender-based violence is any act of violence or abuse directed at a person because of their gender, and it goes far beyond physical violence.

Myth 1: When most people hear “GBV” or “domestic abuse,” they picture physical violence or rape. Those are part of it, but only part of the picture. The lesser-recognised forms of abuse include:

• Psychological abuse – gaslighting, intimidation, threats, and constant criticism that erode a person’s sense of reality and self-worth. 
• Verbal abuse – name-calling, humiliation, and language designed to demean
• Emotional abuse – manipulation, isolation from friends and family, and withholding affection or support
• Financial abuse – controlling access to money, sabotaging someone’s employment, or creating financial dependence

These forms of abuse rarely leave visible marks, which is exactly why they are under-reported, under-recognised, and often still
happening to people sitting in your meetings every day.

Myth 2: GBV only happens to women – Abuse also happens female-to-male, within same-sex and LGBTQI+ relationships, and against older people and children. Abuse is about power and control, not demographics.

Myth 3: Abuse belongs in “bad” neighbourhoods or broken homes – Abuse crosses every income bracket, education level, culture, and suburb. There is no profile of “the kind of person” this happens to.

The Workplace Dimension: GBV Behind Office Doors

Gender-based violence doesn’t stop at the office door, it follows your people to work. Within organisational walls, abuse shows up as:

• Bullying – sustained, targeted intimidation of a colleague
• Sexual harassment – unwanted comments, advances, or conduct
• Inappropriate behaviour and misconduct – that leadership tolerates
• Abuse of power or authority – using a position to control, coerce, or silence
• Veiled threats – hints about job loss or blocked career progression for those who speak up

Since remote and hybrid work became the norm, a harder truth has surfaced: for some employees, “working from home” can mean working inside an unsafe environment.

Where does responsibility sit?

You cannot fix an employee’s home situation, but you can control whether your workplace is a safe place to land. That means knowing the warning signs, having clear reporting channels and a zero-tolerance policy, training managers to respond with support
rather than judgement, and providing access to employee assistance resources.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

Gender-based violence costs the South African economy an estimated R28.4 billion to R42.4 billion per year, between 0.9% and 1.3% of GDP (KPMG, 2014). More recent estimates put it at over R42 billion annually.

The human statistics are starker: South Africa’s femicide rate is roughly five times the global average (Human Rights Watch, World Report 2025), and a South African Medical Research Council survey found approximately one in four men surveyed admitted to committing rape.

For employers, this translates into disengagement, presenteeism, mental health struggles, and turnover among people carrying
trauma nobody at work knows about.

Why We Must Stop Treating GBV as an “Annual Awareness Day” Issue

If we only talk about gender-based violence when a high-profile case hits the news, or during Women’s Month and the  16 Days of Activism, we guarantee it stays hidden for the other remaining days of the year when it is a 24/7/365 occurance.

Breaking the Cycle: Abuse Is Learned – and It Can Be Unlearned

We are not born abusers, it is a learned behaviour. We are not born victims, we become them. Our first lessons in relationships come from our primary caregivers, communication, conflict, affection, anger, vulnerability. That emotional foundation shapes what we later accept and what we perpetuate.

This reframes the problem as changeable: abuse is a learned behaviour, abuse is a choice, and because it is learned and chosen, it can be unlearned, if the abuser takes responsibility and commits to the work, usually with professional help. Beneath most violence is anger, beneath most anger is unresolved hurt and pain. That pain is what therapy and healing need to reach.

The Solution Starts With a Speak-Up Culture

The most powerful tool against GBV, in families and in, organisations , is a speak-up culture rather than a shut-up culture. When it is
safe to say “this is happening to me” or “I need help with my behaviour,” people can access the support that ends the cycle. In
organisations, psychological safety is the foundation.

We have to be B.R.A.V.E if we really want to change the narrative, make a difference and eradicate GBV – When we Break Repetitive Actions, Victory Ensures.

How to Respond If Someone Discloses Abuse

• Listen without judgement and thank them for trusting you
• Don’t press for details they aren’t ready to share
• Ask what support they need rather than deciding for them
• Get them to seek professional help
• Respect confidentiality – their story is theirs to tell

 

Where to Get Help in South Africa

• Tears Foundation 080 008 3277
• GBV Command Centre (24/7): 0800 428 428 (or *120*7867#)
• SAPS: 10111
• POWA: 011 642 4345
• Lifeline SA: 0861 322 322
• Childline SA: 0800 055 555

Gender based violence is not a gender issue, it is a human issue so we need to stop laying the blame at the feet of men (#Menaretrash), and responsibility on women to #bevigilant and #keepsafe. We need to collectively work together to not only change the narrative of GBV but so that we can start eradicating it altogether. No human being deserves to be abused in any way, form, or shape. Ever. 

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What are the different types of gender-based violence? 

Gender-based violence includes physical and sexual violence as well as psychological, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse. Non-physical abuse is often under-recognised because it leaves no visible marks, but its impact on mental health and workplace performance is significant.

2. How does gender-based violence affect the workplace? 

GBV affects the workplace through absenteeism, presenteeism, reduced productivity, disengagement, and mental health struggles. In South Africa it costs the economy an estimated R28.4–R42.4 billion per year, or up to 1.3% of GDP (KPMG).

3. Is gender-based violence only a women’s issue? 

No. While women are disproportionately affected, GBV also includes female-to-male abuse and abuse within LGBTQI+ relationships. Within workplaces, bullying and harassment affect people of every gender.

4. What is an employer’s responsibility when an employee is experiencing domestic violence? 

Employers can’t control an employee’s home situation, but they are responsible for providing a safe, supportive workplace: clear reporting channels, anti-harassment policies, trained managers, and access to professional support resources.

5. Can abusive behaviour be changed? 

Yes. Abuse is a learned behaviour and a choice, not a permanent identity. With accountability, professional help, and sustained effort, the cycle can be broken.

6. What is a speak-up culture? 

A speak-up culture is one where people can raise concerns, including abuse and harassment, without fear of punishment, ridicule, or career damage. Psychological safety is its foundation.

We all need to be B.R.A.V.E

Paula Quinsee is a relationship expert, international speaker, TEDx speaker, and author of two self-help guides – Embracing Conflict and Embracing No. Through Engaged Humans, she works with organisations to build psychologically safe, and healthy cultures where everyone can thrive.

A version of this article appeared on East Coast Radio